HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
OK for those of you who are attending a party and its 4:15p and still dont have a costume check out the link above and get some ideas.. as for me yes I will be attending a party and plan on getting really tipsy.. me and the best friend are gonna be over the top or try to be and i'll show ya when we get the pics.. hehehe.. until later.. be safe all and have fun!!!

ok so today is the day we are out to cause trouble... I will be home. I do not need to causing any type of trouble. I am still no feeling 100% and the point that my mother is right about when I am at ends with someone I get sick and all that is soo true but I will not admit that to her of course. I hate feeling like this.. and no matter how much I do to keep myself busy its not working. so I am giving in *sigh*.

Have you ever had the feeling that life is trying to tell you something. soo get this I tried to post twice yesterday and both times it failed.. for whatever reason what I was writing the universe did not seem to agree with and therefore found it in its power to stop it.. so fine I will not continue the discussion.. on other news... I am way over my head with my best friend's wedding and I am just the bride's maid.... and for that matter I haven't even thought about how I am getting home .. cuz I did something really stupid.. I depended on getting an answer from someone who I thought would go with me or at least pick me up but till this minute I have yet heard from.. soooo what do I do.. throw a fit... basically cuz that's how I am when things aren't the way I want them. I know it sounds bratty but I have my moments. Well let's see I am gonna go see Eric after the wedding that's a definite .. I don't know how but I am getting on a plane the next morning... I need to get away from here and Eric is as always nice. Dont get me wrong I am still extremely upset about my friend but I cant make him talk to me or answer me or anything for that matter and makes me think what hell do I expect... which according to him I should expect nothing ... oh well that's what I get . Well must return to work....

Well its been a looonnnnggggg time since I have updated this site and I will try this once again. Tonight I find myself with the need to express myself... otherwise I will explode cuz you see I cant stop crying and I cant get rid of this feeling of being so alone... I am far from the lonliest person.. I have tons of friends and family that I know cares but truth be told it means nothing without the concern of that certain person. Maybe I am wrong in feeling that they should care .. when I know they are not the expressive type..maybe I need to work on that but I am who I am .. sensitive, caring and loyal. I dont cry because you dont feel what I do but I cry because I care so much that you dont. I miss our talks , I miss you opening up to me .. somewhere along the line I let that go and stopped nuturing it. Despite what people think, especially you, things just dont go with the flow.. they are reactions to every single lil action we do. I know I shouldn't let it get to me what you said and I know what I said might have been harsh but you always think its becuase I want more than what we are .. why cant you see past that. I have choosen to not develope feelings for anyone because I cant handle the heart ache & fears, yet I sit here feeling nasuea, puffy eyes and cold. I tried soo hard not to feel these emotions for you yet there they are... the slightest release and warmth comes over me. So as I sit here thinking about you , you sleep and rest to start your next day oblivious to my feelings and this I can accept because what I need right now is a friend.. I need you.